Thursday, April 3, 2008

disturbing but oddly intriguing

WARNING: This post may contain material that is offensive. It is intended for immature audiences.

Tanya recently convinced me to add a site meter to my blog to track my traffic. Of course, this is part of a grander scheme of total world domination by way of my blog. The land of delusion is a sweet, sweet place.

Anyway, the site meter gives you major amounts of information, most of which is rather boring....ISP info, times, lengths of visits, browser information. You get the picture. But, it does have one totally fascinating item of information that it collects...browser search words. Now, before I go further, I need to explain how my blog continues to come up on these "innocent" searches. First off, there is the name of my'll see later. Then, there was the post about the "passion party" that Tanya and I had attended last year. Then, there was the other post about a show on the Travel Channel with Anthony Bourdain and his trip to Namibia that included some bushmen delicacies (warthog anus). And finally, just the combination of words and things made reference to in past posts add to some odd searches. So, here are some of my favorite word searches from the site meter information. If this keeps up, this may be a regular post subject.

Can you marry your dog (now, I would like to think my fan base is so huge that word has spread and people are Googling to find my blog, but I fear they are actually trying to find out if they can in fact, marry their dog)

Can you marry your horse ( I don't even want to know)

Can you marry a fish (seriously?)

Can I marry my cousin's daughter (not bright enough to realize this would just be your second cousin)

Bushmen warthog anus (maybe they saw the same show)

What can you put up your anus (close the door...quickly!)

Cousin fuck anus (even this related to the marrying of the cousin's daughter?)

Dildo in high school (seems reasonable if attending an all-girls school)

Dog dildo (insert scream here)

Kody do Tony hog (A pull from a combination of posts referencing Tanya's dog Kody, Anthony Bourdain and the infamous warthog)

And my personal favorite:

Pictures of Amazon mushrooms that kill your kindness in 24 hours. (I really don't know what medication this person is on...but honey, send some over here)


buffalodickdy said...

The Internet is the paragon of "Too much information"... It's getting so when I do search for something, I get everything but what I was looking for...

pinknest said...

lol! wow, you really appeal to a certain crowd, eh?

Tanya Kristine said...

that is frickin' hilarious.

i keep getting nutrisystem gas

doggybloggy said...

but the question remains - can you marry your dog? and then why would you want to?

Michelle Ann said...

Buffalo-the internet is a dangerous place. At first I was embarrassed that these search words would lead people to my blog, but then again...I did write them.

Pink-yes, freaks and the like are drawn to me like moths to a flame...

TK-and don't forget that search with the word "mom". I'll just leave it at that.

Dog-marrying a dog seems like less of a stress than marrying a human. I pretty much guaranteed that I will outlive them and they don't require that I look like a sex goddess 24/7 :)

Jessy and her dog Winnie said...

Wowz. lol

Joe said...

It pays to know your audience, I suppose.

I feel dirty, now.

Michelle Ann said...

Jessy-Wowz is right.

Joe-yes, it left me in need of a soul cleanse.

SSC said...

Too Funny!!!!

VE said...

You mean I could have found this blog simply by searching on 'Bushmen warthog anus'. Now why didn't I think of that? Silly me, I found it the old fashioned way...through blog links and comments.

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