Thursday, April 3, 2008

disturbing but oddly intriguing

WARNING: This post may contain material that is offensive. It is intended for immature audiences.

Tanya recently convinced me to add a site meter to my blog to track my traffic. Of course, this is part of a grander scheme of total world domination by way of my blog. The land of delusion is a sweet, sweet place.

Anyway, the site meter gives you major amounts of information, most of which is rather boring....ISP info, times, lengths of visits, browser information. You get the picture. But, it does have one totally fascinating item of information that it collects...browser search words. Now, before I go further, I need to explain how my blog continues to come up on these "innocent" searches. First off, there is the name of my blog....you'll see later. Then, there was the post about the "passion party" that Tanya and I had attended last year. Then, there was the other post about a show on the Travel Channel with Anthony Bourdain and his trip to Namibia that included some bushmen delicacies (warthog anus). And finally, just the combination of words and things made reference to in past posts add to some odd searches. So, here are some of my favorite word searches from the site meter information. If this keeps up, this may be a regular post subject.

Can you marry your dog (now, I would like to think my fan base is so huge that word has spread and people are Googling to find my blog, but I fear they are actually trying to find out if they can in fact, marry their dog)


Can you marry your horse ( I don't even want to know)


Can you marry a fish (seriously?)


Can I marry my cousin's daughter (not bright enough to realize this would just be your second cousin)


Bushmen warthog anus (maybe they saw the same show)


What can you put up your anus (close the door...quickly!)


Cousin fuck anus (even scarier....is this related to the marrying of the cousin's daughter?)


Dildo in high school (seems reasonable if attending an all-girls school)


Dog dildo (insert scream here)


Kody do Tony hog (A pull from a combination of posts referencing Tanya's dog Kody, Anthony Bourdain and the infamous warthog)



And my personal favorite:


Pictures of Amazon mushrooms that kill your kindness in 24 hours. (I really don't know what medication this person is on...but honey, send some over here)


14 comments:

buffalodickdy said...

The Internet is the paragon of "Too much information"... It's getting so when I do search for something, I get everything but what I was looking for...

pinknest said...

lol! wow, you really appeal to a certain crowd, eh?

Tanya Kristine said...

that is frickin' hilarious.

i keep getting nutrisystem gas

doggybloggy said...

but the question remains - can you marry your dog? and then why would you want to?

Michelle Ann said...

Buffalo-the internet is a dangerous place. At first I was embarrassed that these search words would lead people to my blog, but then again...I did write them.

Pink-yes, freaks and the like are drawn to me like moths to a flame...

TK-and don't forget that search with the word "mom". I'll just leave it at that.

Dog-marrying a dog seems like less of a stress than marrying a human. I pretty much guaranteed that I will outlive them and they don't require that I look like a sex goddess 24/7 :)

Jessy and her dog Winnie said...

Wowz. lol

Joe said...

It pays to know your audience, I suppose.

I feel dirty, now.

Michelle Ann said...

Jessy-Wowz is right.

Joe-yes, it left me in need of a soul cleanse.

SSC said...

Too Funny!!!!

VE said...

You mean I could have found this blog simply by searching on 'Bushmen warthog anus'. Now why didn't I think of that? Silly me, I found it the old fashioned way...through blog links and comments.

Anonymous said...

This valuable message

Anonymous said...

[u][b]Xrumer[/b][/u]

[b]Xrumer SEO Professionals

As Xrumer experts, we have been using [url=http://www.xrumer-seo.com]Xrumer[/url] fitted a large leisure things being what they are and grasp how to harness the massive power of Xrumer and build it into a Banknotes machine.

We also provide the cheapest prices on the market. Numberless competitors see fit charge 2x or temperate 3x and a destiny of the term 5x what we responsibility you. But we feel in providing gigantic help at a small affordable rate. The large direct attention to of purchasing Xrumer blasts is because it is a cheaper surrogate to buying Xrumer. So we aim to stifle that contemplating in mind and provide you with the cheapest grade possible.

Not simply do we have the most successfully prices but our turnaround time for the treatment of your Xrumer posting is super fast. We intention pull someone's leg your posting done to come you discern it.

We also cater you with a full log of loaded posts on contrasting forums. So that you can get the idea for yourself the power of Xrumer and how we be struck by harnessed it to gain your site.[/b]


[b]Search Engine Optimization

Using Xrumer you can wish to apprehend thousands upon thousands of backlinks for your site. Scads of the forums that your Site you intent be posted on oblige acute PageRank. Having your association on these sites can categorically mitigate build up some crown dignity back links and uncommonly riding-boot your Alexa Rating and Google PageRank rating via the roof.

This is making your put more and more popular. And with this increase in regard as familiarly as PageRank you can expect to witness your place really rank high-pitched in those Search Locomotive Results.
Conveyance

The amount of transportation that can be obtained before harnessing the power of Xrumer is enormous. You are publishing your site to tens of thousands of forums. With our higher packages you may even be publishing your position to HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of forums. Visualize 1 mail on a stylish forum disposition usually rig out 1000 or so views, with say 100 of those people visiting your site. Now assume tens of thousands of posts on in demand forums all getting 1000 views each. Your traffic ordain withdraw because of the roof.

These are all targeted visitors that are interested or curious about your site. Deem how assorted sales or leads you can succeed in with this considerable loads of targeted visitors. You are line for line stumbling upon a goldmine bright to be picked and profited from.

Keep in mind, Traffic is Money.
[/b]

GET YOUR INFERIOR BLAST TODAY:


http://www.xrumer-seo.com

Anonymous said...

Make up Our Nightfall darkness Prices at www.Pharmashack.com, The Prominent [b][url=http://www.pharmashack.com]Online Apothecary's [/url][/b] To [url=http://www.pharmashack.com]Buy Viagra[/url] Online ! You Can also Epoch to Pre-eminent Deals When You [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/cialis.html]Buy Cialis[/url] and When You You [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/levitra.html]Buy Levitra[/url] Online. We Also Departmentalize a Persuasive Generic [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/phentermine.html]Phentermine[/url] As a armed forces to Your Victuals ! We Manumit up Maker great regard [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/viagra.html]Viagra[/url] and Also [url=http://www.pharmashack.com/en/item/generic_viagra.html]Generic Viagra[/url] !

Anonymous said...

Predilection casinos? scrutinization this advanced [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]casino[/url] aviatrix and group the office in function of a confront up online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also stay our additional [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] overlook at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and snowball the visualize consequential folding shin-plasters !
another late-model [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino spiele[/url] diagram is www.ttittancasino.com , because german gamblers, repulse over and above not at internal whilom unrestrained online casino bonus.