green with envy no more

My Aunt Virgie makes the most amazing Chili Verde. Apparently, my mother had taught her the recipe and she made it her own. I always planned on having mom teach me, but before I knew it, it was too late and mom had passed away. Well, on a recent visit with my aunt, Graham got to talking with her about the infamous dish and made plans with her to have a lesson. So, one day we headed up with freshly roasted Anaheim chilies and pork in hand. Graham made a point of writing everything down despite the wine we were consuming.

So, last night we attempted it on our own and it was a BIG success.

35 fresh Anaheim chilies roasted and skinned *
5 pounds of cubed (1/2 inch) pork shoulder or country style pork ribs
15 garlic cloves minced
Vegetable oil and butter
Flour
Garlic Salt and Pepper
Water as needed.
Sugar

* Please note, roasting the chilies is a core part of the recipe and the result will not be the same. It does require some labor and dedication to igredients, but it is soooo worth it.

Remove the stem, but retain the seeds and veins for the heat. I shredded the chilies by hand into strips.

Generously ‘garlic’ salt and pepper the meat. Toss with your hands to ensure even coverage.

Sprinkle ¼ cup of flour over the meat and also toss with hands for even coverage.

In a large heavy bottom Dutch oven type pan over high heat, melt 2 tablespoons of butter and 2 tablespoons of vegetable oil and brown the pork in batches so they are evenly covering the bottom and evenly browned.

You will have bits browning on the bottom. Once all the pork has been browned, add water in ½ cup increments as needed to the pan and boil to pick up all the brown bits. Continue until the all the brown bits have come up and are now a brown broth.

Add back all the pork and the garlic to the broth in the pan and mix well to incorporate. Add the strips of peppers and mix again. Heat the mixture until boiling, and then lower the heat to a very low simmer and cover.

Occasionally stir for an hour and then remove the lid, increase the heat just a bit and then continue to simmer and stir for another hour.

Once the liquid/sauce is at the consistency of your choice, the chilies have broken down and the pork is fork tender, add salt to taste. By following the ½ cup water measurement, the consistency would lean more toward a broth consistency rather than a sauce/gravy consistency. To balance the flavor, add ½ to one tablespoon of sugar.

scenes from a wedding

So, last week was the wedding of two friends of mine, Glen and Marites. It was a community effort of friends and family that made it possible and I couldn't have helped two better people. I wish them joy, love and happiness as they venture out as man and wife. Since I was still feeling less than my best due to the flu, I didn't take as many pictures as I would have liked, but I managed to capture a few good ones. Cheers to the happy couple!

flu funk

So passes the THIRD day of bedrest due to the flu. I can only hope that I can at least look forward to a few pounds lost due to my inability to taste anything. I have kept Graham at arms length so he won't expose his daughter.... However, the darling man surprised me with frozen yogurt and a short visit. He's the best; what a lucky lady I am.

Burgers, Brew and a Brit

So a very impromptu happy hour was organized as Thursday has become the new Friday; a result of Governor Schwarzenegger furlough order. The group consisted of the usual suspects; Bob, Kevin, Graham and myself. We were later joined by our friend from across the pond, Anna (who also has the distinction of being my dental hygienist). Burgers and Brew was our happy hour destination….

This might be the part of the evening when we were 'discussing' the moral responsibility of The President.

Kevin forced me to endure the pain of having my picture taken... Other than my mother, only the DMV is allowed such a privilege.

What? Could it be? A bad picture of 'Mr. I Never Take a Bad Picture'...

Perhaps we didn't need the third pitcher....

The beer is almost gone and happy hour has officially ended. Many things were discussed, debated and a possible group getaway has been suggested. Let's drink to that.

doormat

Prologue: Yes, I haven’t posted in a loooong time and yes I have many excuses reasons for my absence. But I won’t list them or use them. I am just going to post and let the chips fall where they may.

So, when I last left off, I had started a new chapter in my life. I broke up with my boyfriend, moved out on my own (all on my own; no dogs, no man in residence, just me and my stuff), and started dating a new man, Graham. And my family had a couple of losses this year, my Uncle Joe and my Aunt Dolores….so much in such a short amount of time. And so much of it has been good. My life is completely different than it was a year ago, but somehow, I am still the same person. Crap! How did that happen? Wasn’t I supposed to grow and evolve; have some epiphany that would bring me to nirvana? So, this gets me to the title of the post…doormat.

Am I still a doormat? Do I expect/demand that I am treated well by EVERYONE in my life or do I still give them full access to behave however they like? I am afraid that I haven’t been able to change this little nugget. And really, I only have myself to blame. I am a people pleaser, peacemaker, enabler…many labels and none of them Gucci. And let me say that for the most part, the people in my life are kindhearted, generous and loving. But that still doesn’t mean that I don’t want to change this facet of my personality. I really do envy people that can stand strong and demand nothing less than the best for themselves.

And for the record, I am completely aware that this all can be traced back to my parents. Yes, when you are the only child of addicts, you will become co-dependent, you will enable bad behavior, you will clean up the messes and hide the evidence, you will blame yourself for things you have no control over and you will spend the rest of your life with this knowledge. It is my baggage. And over the years, I have done my best to try to face it head on and get beyond it…but much of it is learned behavior. It’s like trying to write with your left hand when you are right handed. It’s unnatural and it’s frustrating and you find yourself going back to what you know; familiarity is comfort.

Recently, with some people, I have had to deal with this issue…yet again. Sometimes, I wish that I had the balls to say,

“Fuck it. You call me when you have figured out the RIGHT way to speak to me. Until then, consider me dead to you.”

So far, the balls have managed to elude me, but the dicks of the world have not.

Case in point…about a month ago I did manage to be extremely direct with someone, balls to the walls, no backing down…however, did I mention it was at work, in front of people, many people? Not my proudest moment…

My goal is somewhere between Mother Theresa and Mary Queen of Scots. So, rather than go back into therapy and subject myself to uncomfortable silence with my therapist, I am offering to you, my fellow bloggers, an opportunity to be my armchair analysts and let the opinions, suggestions, and ‘constructive’ criticism flow. .

The Lost Coast

Last weekend we took to the Lost Coast in the Sinkyone Wilderness State Park, a truly mythical part of California where signs of civilization are nowhere to be seen. Itching to get out of town and away from my moving drama, (when I am ready to post on this, I will) we left town on Friday evening at 6:30 with a 5 hour drive ahead of us. Good thing I was properly trained by my ex-husband because this girl can set up camp in the dark and be enjoying the benefits of wine in no time at all. We stayed up for a couple of hours talking and enjoying the peace of the forest.

A previous camper...

The following day, we got a late start and took off for a hike after 2:30. And it was a challenging one… Unfortunately, my leg started to go out on me, but we at least got to the high point before we turned around and headed back to camp. I was able to capture a beautiful sunset….

On our final day, we took a little nature hike to the beach. The ocean was truly stunning and the sun provided the perfect light for the canvas of my camera

Graham

I'm still here...

I have been having technical difficulties with my internet connection at my new place. I hope to have it back on track this week.

Miss all of you and your blogs. Hope to be visiting the blogsphere soon.

Take care until then!!

Moving on...

Sunday was the BIG move. All my furniture, wash machine/dryer and remaining boxes were moved to the new place. It went pretty smoothly since I had the BEST help ever and I had moved a large majority of the little crap earlier in the week. So, thank you Graham, Kevin, Rick and Tina for lending a hand and some muscle. Much, much appreciated because I couldn’t have done it without any of you. Tina and I still need to go back this weekend to clean out the garage of the old place and dump some trash, but that’s about it.

We had started the move around 8:30 and finished up by 11:30…it was the fastest move I have ever undertaken. And so far, nothing appears to have been broken. But, I haven’t unpacked all the boxes…yet. Since the move was over so quickly, it allowed for some to catch the football game at noon and for some to work in an overnight camping trip to Salt Point and a day hike on Monday. The company, food and drink were just what I needed after a week of running around and packing…a moment “off the grid” so to speak…priceless. The weather was perfect and we found ourselves in t-shirts and tank tops in January no less! Incredible, truly incredible.

Tuesday I had my satellite installed and now, all items have been checked off the list for the new place. So, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I am looking forward to what this year has to offer. However, I did decide to give the New Year a “jump start” and join some local women, food and wine groups. The first event I am attending with the ladies is a cocktails and cinema outing on February 8th…sounds like fun! My first food group event is a Mardi Gras party on March 7…I need to bring some dish inspired by the spirit and food of New Orleans. So, I will have a little researching and experimenting to do. Luckily, the food and the wine group are organized and comprised of the same members…should be a ton of fun.

It has been wonderful to be in my new place and take time to breathe in and breathe out. The last year was full of so many ups and downs, challenges and rewards. And there were definitely times that I felt that my life was no longer mine, that I was sitting there watching it barrel out of control. Sometimes, drastic measures must be taken to take care of you. And once you know what you have to do, you only hurt yourself in delaying taking action. All of us need to do what is in the best interest of yourselves…this doesn’t mean that we are selfish or cruel, rather we are self preserving and no one should be faulted for making unpopular choices when left with no other options in our relationships with love ones, friends and family.

My choice to distance myself from my father earlier this year was not an easy one and I suspect that this will be an ongoing struggle for me. My father and I are still trying to work out our enormous differences and we may never get there. I have learned to accept this possible inevitability and any improvement will be a pleasant surprise. But, I am not counting on anything…. I have been around the block on this one, SEVERAL times.

So, I am still attempting to grow up as I head toward 40.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Almost there...

Well, I was handed the keys to my new place on Friday and so far my only furniture consists of a bed, a dining table and chairs, and a side table. The remainder of my furniture and the contents of my previous home will be moved this Sunday. Unfortunately, I won't have my computer and it's contents until that time. So, my posting has been completely erratic and I do apologize, but these things cannot be helped.

In the meantime, I am "camping" so to speak... I have all the necessities; lighting, a refrigerator, 30% of my kitchen, a stereo, the entire contents of my bathroom, some good books and a few bottles of wine. So, I can survive anything at this point...

I even had the opportunity to a cook an Indian meal in my new home on Sunday. I have been unable to really cook for a few weeks and found myself crawling the walls in need of a fix. It was the best therapy; music playing, a glass of wine and putzing around the kitchen as the aromas filled the air. It was extremely spiritual for me and it turned the house into my home.

Last night, I had myself a little carpet picnic of cheese, Italian salami, salad and wine. Kevin kindly hooked me up with an itsy bitsy TV to use and I was able to watch Seinfeld and kick back after work. Thanks Kev!!!

So, that's the 411 for now. Hopefully, I can get some pictures of my place up on my next post. Until then, hope the New Year is treating everyone well!!!

girls' night

Sunday evening found Tanya and I in front of the television basking in reality television gluttony.... (Tanya has kindly extended a house guest invitation to me ; I have the BEST friends ever.) Anyway, spent from the previous evening's "Pajama Game Night", we were happily transfixed on the HD. However, unbeknownst to us, Tanya had missed a couple of phone calls from Sally. Moments later, Sally stood on the other side of the front door desperate for some estrogen energy and proclaimed..."I'm fucked up!" said in mid-tear. It was one of the funniest things I have seen in awhile.... And of course, Tanya welcomed Sally in....so, it was some beer, wine and "cock" tales with the girls.

Plans are in the works for dancing this Friday. Keep you posted...

Getting excited...

I am still working on my Christmas post, but I have been a bit nomadic these last two weeks due to my current living situation. Hopefully, I can finish my Christmas post before New Years...but don't count on it.

Anyway...I checked out my new place and it's perfect for what I need; in my price range, two bedrooms, a dining room, a smaller kitchen (big frown), gas stove (big smile) and a backyard with a patio. It's in a nice area we call East Sacramento, near a park and the local state college. I should be all moved in by the third week of January. Something to know about me...I am kind of like a missile; once my target is in sight, I am completely locked in.

I'll be keeping you posted...

New Year, new life

Well, this year will mark much change in my life. Craig and I have decided to part ways. It was time, perhaps past the time. Although it is disappointing that my relationship was less than a successful one, I learned a lot about myself and found that I am stronger than I thought I was. Now the harder part; Nadine and Jerry Lee will go with Craig as they are truly his dogs. If we stood on opposite ends of a football field and I dressed myself in ribeye steaks marinated in peanut butter from head to toe, they would still go to Craig. I may be deluded, but I am not that deluded.

Change can be a scary thing, but I am feeling not one scintilla of fear, just excitement. This is my opportunity to chase my dreams and focus on myself. As your classic co-dependent, I have spent a great deal of my time and energy making sure everyone had the ability to chase their goals. Now at the cusp of turning 40, I am allowing myself to be selfish. Of course, as most of my friends and family know, it will be next to IMPOSSIBLE for me to be selfish with them. I love spoiling them…now I just have more time to do so. However, I am going to focus on my pursuits to the best of my ability. A friend suggested that I get a passport to have on hand, just in case. He could be on to something. After all, luck is when opportunity meets preparation. …

So, there will be some big transitions in the coming months; a purging of old things, embracing new things, moving to a new domicile, a big birthday, and a few trips already in the works. I am not looking back, I am not holding on to any regret. And I already have friends and family ready to step in to make these transitions easier.

And this time, my New Year’s resolutions will be obtainable.… to be open to everything that life has to offer, spend more time with my friends and family, and allow myself to be happy, just because.

Twelve Steps...

Step One: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable

I am obsessed. Yes, and for once, it does not revolve around the holy trinity of coffee, vodka and Patrick Dempsey. I am a products junkie. To be more precise, I am a beauty product junkie. And like any good addict, I have learned to acquire beyond my means and I have acquired quite A LOT…not junk, but the good stuff! Case in point, my bathroom, and the hall closet, and another hall closet, and the spare bedroom/office and my purse, and my ALWAYS fully packed Samsonite toiletry bag (for those impromptu weekends), and my car, and my cubicle at work and the list goes on and on; all of these places are either packed or close to being packed with all my purchases, those planned and those purchased on impulse. Impulse buys are like one night stands…totally wrong, completely delicious and will most likely involve a walk of shame. I even have some products delivered right to my front door on a regularly scheduled basis, thank you Philosophy. Normally, I do not acknowledge much less address my addiction. But the other day, it stared me straight in the face.

I do my very best to stay away from my church…or my churches; Ulta and Sephora. One cannot succumb to the seduction of one’s passions, if not in the vicinity to do so… And if one does succumb the rationalization is easy... For it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Words that every good Catholic lives by…

Since I refuse to step foot in a mall during the month of December, I elected to go to ULTA. ( I am currently researching religions that don’t require me to go into debt to add wrapped boxes under a tree that was planted for the sole purpose to be chopped down and drugged into my home…all this in the name of someone’s birthday…I’m just saying) Anyway, I went to ULTA under the pretense that I was nearly out of the BEST product in the whole world, Smashbox’s Photofinish. There it was, in a convenient boxed set at $15.00 over the normal price for the addition of two other products that I didn’t even know that I needed until I walked in the door. And for my purchase, they gave me a gift valued at $22.00; my biggest addiction, lipstick. Oh yeah, being bad feels oh so good… Thank you, Ulta, thank you. While there, I picked up the world’s best lash curler, brow tech wax, a sample of perfume and some other bibble bobble that I could not live without which was promptly placed in my basket. $90 or so dollars later, I left excited as a schoolgirl to get home and “play” with my purchases.

So, the other day I was cleaning house and went to the bathroom to finally put my new precious babies away in the drawer when I realized there wasn’t any room. What? How can this be? Let me see, if I take out these two shower gels and put them in the shower… Oh, wait…there are already 7 different shower gels there. Well, let me just put them on the back shelf of the tub…oh wait, there are already 4 different bottles of shampoo and conditioner. Okay, well I will just put it in the bath basket… No, no I won’t. You guessed it; the micro-dermabrasion set, various shaving creams, bath salts, sugar scrubs and bath oils are all living there. Fine, I will just put them in the hall closet…this, the closet that currently houses 2 full sets of the skincare line that I use, 5 backup bottles of Bath and Body anti-bacterial hand soaps in various scents, guest soap bars, back up toothbrushes and toothpastes, and 2 HUGE unopened bath baskets I won for enduring some god awful bridal shower at Luau Gardens…scary!

What can I say? I enjoy being a girl…my body is my temple and I pay it the attention that it deserves. Isn’t that what Jesus said or something like that??? I really need to place the blame entirely where it belongs, my mother and her immortal words... “A man does not want an unkempt woman”. See, all her fault.

However, despite my mother’s lack of contrition for her part in all this, I realized that I may need some serious help. I have beauty products in every nook and cranny of my home, my life. I had actually hid some and forgot and then later “found” when they came crashing down on my head when I was cleaning out the office closet. Sensuality Jasmine Vanilla body wash can give a mighty nasty bump on one’s head. Seriously, I could never wash, moisturize, condition or make up myself as much as it would take to use up every product I currently owned. In fact, it is quite possible that if any of these items were purchased on credit, I may still be paying for them.

Hello, my name is Michelle and I am a beauty product-aholic. I have been an addict for nearly 40 years.

Hi Michelle, welcome.

thinspiration

It is the 7 week count down to my total domination… Even if by some cosmic malfunction of the universe, I happen to lose the challenge, I have still made plans for rewards of my own. After all, I have been a very good girl this year…

Behold my thinspiration dresses and shoes. Yes, Victoria’s Secret and BCBG are just a few of my favorite things. The rest are a secret….shhh.

Finally....

Sorry I have been neglectful to my blog…it’s a love/hate thing. See, all my relationships are dysfunctional… At least the first step is acknowledging the problem. That’s usually as far as I get with the 12 step approach. After 40 years, not quite sure what the other steps are since I can’t seem to get off of this one. There you go…I acknowledged that problem too.

Anyway, what has happened in the last four weeks…Retail Therapy, Happy Hour, Thanksgiving, Dog Sitting, Baby Shower, and Bout with the Flu? Yep, that’s about it. Trust me; I have saved you all a GREAT deal of time in not writing about all these trivial events. But, I will try to cover Thanksgiving, Dog Sitting and the Baby Shower. You will have to use your imagination for the others.

After years and years of emotionally charged, door slamming, stressful Thanksgiving get togethers, my family has finally gotten to a point (by eliminating the bad elements) where it is something to look forward to. So, it was turkey two ways (smoked and fried). I knew we were off to a good start when I was promptly handed a Bloody Mary when I walked in the door. Do we all know each other or what?? And let me tell you, my BEAUTIFUL cousin Erin makes a mean Bloody Mary. Much turkey and wine were consumed and fun was had by all…Thank you my precious family…I really am thankful for their continual support and love for me. These guys are the best of the bunch!

The family and beautiful Erin...the Bloody Mary Master

The boys on dish duty

The gluttony never ends...

As for the Dog Sitting...Barkley is currently staying with us. As he has put on some pounds, he has been enrolled in Doggie Fat Camp…he thought he was on vacation. His father will barely recognize him and I will be grateful for the weight loss as Barkley is convinced he is a lap dog. Personally, I think he looks like Winston Churchill with a butt-hurt face. Poor little fella looks like he could use a drink or two.

Belly up to the bar Barkley....

Finally, we come to the Baby Shower. Our friend Graham is expecting a daughter in January. Although the situation is unconventional, it is still a reason to celebrate…however; we really don’t need a reason. Breathing and having a pulse would work too. Nothing like a drunken baby shower to welcome the impending new arrival… And boy do we know how to bring it! The baby might as well know what’s in store for her… Daddy’s friends will be mixing the drinks, not changing the diapers. We offer our own unique kind of support.

Tanya's not so subtle hint to Graham to keep his fellas in check

Let the drinks and conversations flow

and flow

A little game of Pin the Pacifier on the Baby

George is loving the game...or maybe most of his Saturday evenings are spent blindfolded in the arms of a lady...

Ready, set...NO!

Okay…I NEVER put goals on my blog because if I don’t obtained them and I am the only one to know…it’s like I never failed. You know, the whole “if a tree falls in a forest” theory. Plus, I hate to fail at anything. I rarely attempt or take on anything new unless I can guarantee myself that I will succeed.

I have organized a weight loss challenge at work. For $20.00 buy in, you must lose the largest percentage of your body weight by February 4, 2009. The kick off was November 4th and the pot is almost at $500.00. I already have my camera lens picked out when I claim my prize.

Now, I really don’t have a lot of weight to lose. I have been steadily dropping weight over the last few months by changing my eating habits and infrequent yoga sessions. I have a goal of 20 pounds to lose…not too much, but those are the hardest pounds to get off.

So, this is where it gets scary. Because, I am PAINFULLY aware that the only way to lose these last pounds will be an exercise program… And Craig has been suggesting that I take up spinning and even suggested creating a program for me to follow. Really? Why am I not surprised??? Yesterday he gave me an electrolyte sample and in his words, I quote… “Here…so you can use after your next intense workout”. This utter from the lips of a man that sings the praises of three intense workouts a day. I can barely eat three meals a day… I think he should join a support group or a 12 step program; this type of thinking CANNOT be healthy.

Anyway, this all feels like treacherous territory that I am unwilling to venture into… I have no problem working with personal trainers, yoga teachers, fitness instructors, etc….but having people I am close to act in this capacity makes me uncomfortable. Besides, I have the alpha position in a relationship for the first time in my life and I don’t think I want to take orders from him even if it’s for my health or $500.00. Add a few zeros on that figure and I may change my mind. MAYBE.

seoul food

Our friend Tim occassionally comes to visit us during his work travels. It's his chance to unwind and participate in some mild debauchery; to remember what life was like as a single minded single. I try to come up with a menu that is diverse and completely different from any I have prepared for him. This time around I opted for a Korean menu of Pork and Rib eye Bulgogi, Chicken and Beef Short Rib Kalbi, Korean pancakes, steamed Miso spinach, Kimchi, seasoned tofu, plenty of spice and a disturbing amount of wine...

The meat is grilled and served with lettuce leaves, steamed rice, kimchi and Kochujang (red pepper paste; aka-Korean Ketchup). The Kochujang is sweet and very spicy...we use it on everything. I love a menu that includes plenty of spice and allows me to indulge in Kimchi. Fermented spicy cabbage is not for the faint of heart and now I can add fermented spicy tofu to my list of loves.

The preparation of the meat is a very simple process. I am lucky to have a Korean market in town and they sell the meat already sliced for my purpose. The pork and rib eye are just barely frozen then sliced thin. The short ribs are a HUGE bargin and are sliced thin with the bone in. In most Asian markets you can find the Korean BBQ Bulgogi Marinade already prepared in the jar. For the short ribs and the chicken (boneless, skinless thighs), I place them in a Ziploc bag, pour the marinade over, toss and refrigerate overnight.

For the rib eye and the pork, I went spicy. To the marinade, I added a couple of tablespoons of the Kochujang, mixed well and made a Ziploc bag for each. I prepared this about 3 hours before I planned to cook it and left it at room temperature until I was ready to proceed. I cooked all the meat out on my grill. For the rib eye and pork, I laid down two disposable foil trays directly on the grill and stir fried. And in my usual fashion, I served a HUGE platter loaded with meat...convenient for loading directly to my guests' plates.

Monday

A good way to start the work week. Happy Monday!

fetish...

as in shoes. The last you had all seen my toes, they were in dire straights. Swollen, black and blue is not how I usually present my lower digits. To cheer them and me up, I decided to dress them up. Here are my new lovelies. Darling, aren’t they? I think I'm in love...

Prost! Ouch?

So, Friday marked Oktoberfest and we were ready to get our drink on. Our motley crew consisted of me, Tina, Rick, Tanya, Kevin, Chris, and Sally. Craig was down with the stomach flu...We were joined later by Kelly and Jeff. Of course, there are always a few losers who fail to make the party and YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I will say no more...

As the professional drinkers that you know and love, Tanya and I got there before the doors opened so we could claim the best table. You know, the table near the beer, food, bathrooms and the smoking area.

So, the evening went as it always does....drink beer, eat food, drink more beer, eat more food, dance the chicken dance, drink more beer, down shots of Jaggermeister with a gaggle of lesbians in designer eye wear, dance the polka, drink more beer.

All was going well until the end of the evening... While breaking a sweat on the dance floor, I took a spill on some beer that had been spilled. In fact, when I think back, it was really just a blip on my memory of the evening. After leaving the dance floor and settling back at the table, I somehow found myself in the middle of a fight...man "with chair as weapon" attacks large group, unfortunate me in the middle. Luckily, Chris (the only sober one) grabbed the offender and held him until the law showed up. Finally, the police on hand had something to do besides flirt with women on the way to the bathroom. They quickly hauled off the chair wielding bandit...

It was a good evening and when I arrived at home, I noticed how much my foot was hurting. After I removed my boots, I looked down to see that two of my toes were swollen, bruised and throbbing. How does one tell the difference between sprained and broken toes? Nonetheless, I spent the rest of the weekend with my foot elevated and my toes on ice. Now that's how to party.

Happiness...a full room of beer drinking fun loving people...

This guy was amazing...he's twice my age and moves a hell of alot better than I...

Kevin...smiling in anticipation of the Chicken Dance.

Yummy...and the sauerkraut was so good. I could have eaten a plate full of it...

Tanya and Chris make quite the pair.

Awh...aren't they cute?

Rick is having a great time...although next time, a DD will be planned so another pitcher can be ordered.

What follows is a series of pictures that find Kevin surrounded by a bevy of Lesbians urging his consumption of Jagger shots.

And he lives to tell the tale....

Tina was kind enough to pick up some ginger cookies for her kids. I wonder if she told them where her cookies had been????

A couple of tarts holding a couple of cookies.

A fond farewell to Oktoberfest 2008...it was fun

The only casualty of the night...my two toes.

homage

Inevitably…as the season changes and the days shorten, I move to pursuits of comfort food, fires and good books. As a child, I remember rainy fall days cooped up in the house. I would head to my room and bury my nose into a book to wait out the weather but would be called out by the aromas coming from the kitchen. Even though times could be rocky in my home, my mother always made wonderful food. My indoctrination into food and cooking was one of diligence and a commitment to the ‘old way’ of doing things.

My great uncle would send her dry chilies from Mexico and as she had always done, my mother would burn her hands as she blanched them in boiling water and delicately removed their skins. If we were lucky to get fresh chilies, she would char them in the oven. My mother was not one to rely on convenience when it came to preparing food. It was one of those funny quirks of my mother’s…. She had two food processors, but chose to ground her chilies and garlic for her Roja sauce in a Molcajete just as my grandmother did.

In our home, the stove would have several pots going at one time. As always, my mom had a huge pot of pinto beans simmering away. Of course, that pot was preceded by the long and arduous process of ‘picking and sorting beans’. My mother would sit me at the kitchen table with two bowls, a bag of dried beans and a paper towel. In small manageable amounts, the beans would be poured on the towel and sifted through to remove any stones or imperfect legumes that happen to find themselves in the bag. One bowl for the undesirables and one bowl for the perfectly picked…It was pointless to take any shortcuts, for my mother would just scoop up my sifted pile, pour it out on the towel and direct me to start over. It was admirable; frustrating, but admirable. And although my mother was far from perfect, she nurtured and loved me through her cooking.

So, in gearing up for autumn, I went looking for some of my favorite recipes and I stumbled across a dog-eared recipe card for my mother’s spaghetti sauce. There it was typed with the new typewriter I received for my birthday. Some ingredients didn’t even make it on the card. There weren’t any instructions either; those were saved to my memory… Hands down, my mother had the best spaghetti sauce I had ever eaten…at least I thought so. I pleaded with her to show me how to make it and on one of those rainy days…we set out to do just that.

First she showed me how to dice an onion; first vertically, then horizontally and finally sliced crosswise. Then she pulled out the head of garlic and placed it in a kitchen towel. She tightly wound the towel and banged it against the counter; like magic, all the cloves separated. Next she grabbed a saucer and pushed down on the garlic cloves; the papery skins loosened and fell off. Since the garlic was small, my mother fearing a trip to the emergency room minced it herself.

The hardest part of this lesson was the dry ingredients. My mother NEVER measured anything. So on that day, I made her pour the ingredients in her hand and I would then take the measuring spoons to determine a quantifiable amount. However, some ingredients remained in their “handful” measurement. Over the course of my lesson she bestowed her hints and tricks; added sugar to cut the acidity of the tomatoes, grated Parmesan cheese to help thicken the sauce; wine added at the end to retain the flavor. This would be my first foray into writing recipes.

I always thought that one day, my mother and I would be in my kitchen preparing food, but that day never came. I often find myself in the kitchen wondering what she would think of my cooking, would she be proud, would she recognize that I still follow her instruction? And when I prepare lentils, I take out two bowls and a paper towel and head to the kitchen table.

friday

It's about time... Dinner, is poured.

fig-ment part deux

For some reason, lamb has become a ghost in the city... I couldn’t find a leg of lamb to save my life. All my usual haunts were out, weren’t on order or were taken off the order list. I thought that veal was the only politically volatile meat. Perhaps things have changed… However, once I get an idea in my head, I cannot rest until I can see it through. So, lack of lamb required a journey to Whole Foods. Unfortunately, I don’t live anywhere near one…actually, that could be a good thing. They don’t call it Whole Paycheck for nothing… So, lamb and fig skewers were on the menu.

Grilled Lamb and Fig Skewers

For mint-pepper glaze:
2/3 cup apricot jam
1/3 cup pomegranate syrup
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
1 tablespoon red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon finely grated lemon zest (from about 1 lemon)
1/4 cup fresh mint, chopped

For lamb:
1 tablespoon cumin powder
1 tablespoon coriander powder
3 pounds boneless leg of lamb, fat trimmed, cut into 1-inch cubes
12 fresh figs, halved vertically
1/4 cup olive oil
4 medium cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon kosher salt
1 tablespoon freshly coarse-ground black pepper

Make mint-pepper glaze
In small saucepan over moderate heat, stir together jam, vinegar, red pepper flakes, and lemon zest. Bring to boil, then lower heat to low and simmer, uncovered, stirring occasionally, until slightly thickened, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and allow to cool 5 minutes. Stir in mint and set aside.

Prepare grill for cooking
If using charcoal grill, open vents on bottom, then light charcoal. Charcoal fire is medium-hot when you can hold your hand 5 inches above rack for 4 to 5 seconds. If using gas grill, preheat burners on high with hood closed 10 minutes, then turn down to moderately high.

Prep lamb
In large bowl, toss together lamb, figs, and olive oil. Add garlic, ground cumin and coriander, salt, and pepper, and toss gently to combine. Thread lamb cubes and figs onto skewers.

Grill lamb
Cook lamb to slightly less than desired doneness (cubes will continue to cook after being removed from grill), turning once and brushing with glaze during last 30 seconds of grilling on each side, about 4 minutes per side for medium-rare.

We served our skewers with a green salad dressed with a balsamic dressing, slivered almonds and crumbled goat cheese. With whole wheat pita bread and hummus on the side.

baked

We had some company on Saturday night and I didn’t feel like making one of those meals that required all items to be timed perfectly with lavish presentation. I had just been to a baby shower luncheon and really just wanted to take a nap. So, I went retro…casserole. I have a recipe for baked ziti that seems to be a hit.



Baked Ziti with Tomatoes and Spinach

½ pound of sweet Italian sausage, casings removed (preferably pork)
½ pound of hot Italian sausage casings removed (preferably pork)
1 medium onion chopped
4 cloves of garlic minced
28 ounce can of peeled and diced tomatoes with juice (I use Muir Glen)
4 ounces of prepared pesto sauce
Marsala wine


1 pound of freshly cooked penne or ziti pasta (I used whole wheat)
6-10 ounces of spinach leaves
8-ounces of cubed mozzarella cheese
1 cup of grated Parmesan cheese (about 3 ounces)

Heave heavy large saucepan over medium high heat. Sauté onion and garlic until soft; add sausage and cooked thoroughly, breaking up meat with back of spoon, about 10 minutes. Add tomatoes and juices to pan. Simmer until sauce thickens slightly, stirring occasionally, about 10 minutes. Stir in pesto. Season with salt and pepper. Add Marsala wine to taste to cut the acidity of the tomatoes

Preheat oven to 375 º. Lightly oil 13 x 9-inch glass baking dish. Combine pasta, spinach, mozzarella and 1/3 cup of Parmesan cheese in a large bowl. Stir in hot tomato sauce. Transfer mixture to prepared baking dish. Sprinkle remaining 2/3 Parmesan cheese over. Bake until sauce bubbles and cheeses melt, about 20 minutes.

hopeless

Okay…I need a laugh to end the work week. Tanya and I decided to go get a couple of slices for lunch. We work downtown, so the majority of parking consists of parallel action. I have many talents (varying degrees of expertise); cooking, photography, writing, entertaining. Parallel parking however, is not one of them. Somewhere near my 80th adjustment to get myself in the spot, Tanya compared me to Austin Powers. That was it…. I completely lost it and laughed so hard that no noise escaped. I just shook... It was utterly painful and hilarious. She actually had to get out of the car to direct my 81st attempt. Apparently, we could take this act on the road as we were providing much comic relief to the passersby.

Need a cake baked, I’m your girl. You need a picture taken, I am your girl. You need me to write you a research paper, I’m your girl. You need to plan a birthday party, I’m your girl.

You need me to parallel park, you might want to consider public transportation

fig-ment of my imagination

Well, this whole ‘fig’ crop that we were the lucky recipients of, required me to do a little fig research. Do I want to make preserves? Do I want to make tapenade? Do I want to grill them with lamb? Do I just want to sit down with my lovely little fig friends and a log of goat cheese and just devour??? For the first part of my fig fantasy, I opted to make pizza…

Fig and Goat Cheese Pizza

Ball of pizza dough (I picked up a whole wheat one at Trader Joes)
Extra virgin olive oil and unsalted sweet butter
1-clove of garlic
2-sweet onions (Maui, Vidalia, etc) sliced crosswise
½ log of goat cheese
12-16 fresh figs (preferably Black Mission) sliced in half lengthwise
2-thin pieces of Proscuitto sliced in chiffonade style
chiffonade of fresh basil

Preheat oven to 450

Slice the onions. In a heavy bottom pan, heat 2 tablespoons of butter and two tablespoons of olive oil over medium low heat. Sauté the onions until caramelized, approximately 20-30 minutes. Turn as needed.

Crush garlic clove and add 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Mix well to incorporate the garlic into the oil.

Allow the dough to rest at room temperature on a floured surface for 20 minutes. Roll dough out to a 12-inch diameter. Place on pizza stone in oven for 5-7 minutes to lightly crisp the crust.

Remove the crust from the oven and brush with garlic olive oil. Crumble goat cheese and spread onions over crust. Add the figs and proscuitto over the cheese and onions.

Bake pizza an additional 10-15 minutes or until crust is golden brown. Allow pizza to sit at room temperature for 5 minutes and add fresh basil before serving

bounty

During these summer months, Craig's bike rides run the river route on the Delta. Into Clarksburg, 5 miles outside of Sacramento, you will find wineries and breezy Delta living. Lucky for me, Craig has discovered a couple of Black Mission Fig trees and has come home with figs in hand. We aren't sure if they are technically on someone's property...but I think the only crime we would be guilty of is allowing those figs to die on the tree, never to be enjoyed....

interpretation

I found one of the doves outside last night and I couldn't interpret what this look meant...

But, I think I know what this one meant....

"You've killed my child, prepare to die..."

Images of the Hitchcock film, The Birds flashed in my mind. I opted to go inside.

tomatoes

We planted tomatoes this spring and our crop is finally producing mass quantities…we can barely keep up. And, we should have some tomatillos in the next month…perfect for making my Posole. With our recent harvest, I made some good use of my tomatoes. First off I made some Pico de Gallo which I could eat right out of the bowl. For dinner last night, we had Roasted Trout. Summer may not be my favorite season, but it’s my favorite time of year for produce.

Pico de Gallo

1 pound plum tomatoes, seeded, chopped
1 cup chopped onion
6 tablespoons (packed) chopped fresh cilantro
1/4 cup fresh lime juice
2 large garlic cloves, minced
1 1/4 tablespoons minced seeded jalapeño chilies
Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Combine all ingredients in medium bowl; toss to blend well. Drizzle olive oil to taste to add richness. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Let stand at least 30 minutes for flavors to develop.

Roasted Trout with Tomatoes, Shiitake Mushrooms and Ginger

Nonstick cooking spray
2 whole rainbow trout (about 12 ounces each), cleaned, boned, butterflied

2 green onions, chopped
2 large fresh shiitake mushrooms, stemmed, caps thinly sliced
1/2 cup chopped seeded tomatoes
2 teaspoons minced peeled fresh ginger
2 garlic cloves, minced
4 teaspoons Ponzu
2 teaspoons dark roasted sesame oil
Fresh cilantro sprigs

Preheat oven to 400°F. Line large rimmed baking sheet with foil; coat with nonstick spray. Sprinkle fish with salt and pepper. Open fish like a book and arrange, skin side down, on prepared baking sheet.

Mix next 5 ingredients in bowl. Sprinkle mixture over fish, drizzle with the Ponzu and sesame oil, then top with cilantro sprigs. Bake uncovered until fish is opaque in center, about 20 minutes.

Unnatural

So this weekend, we headed to my cousin Tina’s house for a BBQ. She lives some 40 miles from me in the foothills of Northern California. For fun, Craig decided to cycle and meet me there. Let me repeat that…

FOR FUN…Craig decided to cycle and meet me there. Whatever...

FOR FUN…I decided to drive there with cocktail ingredients in hand; Absolut Citron,Triple Sec and lemons.

Once I arrived, I immediately took possession of the martini shaker and proceeded to knock out a few drinks. Cocktails happily in hand, we joined the fellas (my cousin’s husband Rick and their friend Larry) in the living room. For some reason, they were watching a 10 year old James Bond movie. You know, the one where Denise Richards was the nuclear physicist named Christmas Snow. Or was it the one with some other hot chick cast as the brainiac. Does it even matter?

As the drinks continued, we made our way to the pool and chatted while the guys cooled off with a swim. At some point, Tina and I headed back to the kitchen to skewer kabobs and make more drinks… Eventually, Larry’s wife Susie showed up and she was promptly handed a martini. She had some catching up to do.

The guys joined us back in the house and we all started to wonder when Craig would make it up here…and then we saw him coming down the hill. So, all of us liquor lubricated nuts made our way outside to jump up and cheer. Kind of a low-rent Tour De France… The guys went up to welcome Craig and commented; “You look so…bicycle-y.”

When we settled down to eat dinner, my 70 year old aunt joined us. And since the rest of us were in such good “spirits”, she quickly picked up on our energy. However, at some point, the topic of sex came up and my aunt made sexual comments about her daughter and son-in-law (Tina and Rick) and then asked some sex question of Rick. And then there were some other gnarly sex words that came out of her mouth but all I could see were her lips moving in slow motion...

(Insert index fingers into ears and shake your head back and forth while chanting, “LA LA LA LA LA LA LA”…LOUDLY.)

I looked at my aunt and said calmly, “You need to stop talking now. And no more vodka for you…You have lost your dinner talking privileges.”

If you ever need to sober up…QUICKLY, just have your parents or someone in that age vicinity attempt some sex banter. It’s against the laws of nature…

Tanya

As many of you know…I have had the sincere pleasure of having Tanya as my cubicle neighbor at work for nearly two years. And in that time, she has become one of my dearest friends; the source of a guaranteed laugh on those rough days. She’s been gunning for a promotional position and was offered and ultimately accepted a promotion to work in a city an hour outside where we live. And although I am totally thrilled that she got the job she wanted, I have been in a bit of denial that she won’t be a part of my “everyday life”. And I have bigger issues than just her lack of presence…

Who is going to partner with me in our utter contempt of Brangelina…okay, mostly just Angelina because we are still on Team Jen (even though we are still confused about the whole John Mayer thing)?

Who am I going to obsess with at 8:00 in the morning about our lunch plans? It does after all; take SEVERAL hours to decide what we will do. Because THIS is the most important decision of any day… We once spent the greater part of a day trying to find a restaurant that served authentic German potato dumplings. Doesn’t everyone? (By the way, we are still looking)

Who else other than me thinks that when people are whispering within earshot, they MUST be talking about us? Isn’t it ALWAYS about us?

Who else, other than me believes that every shampoo, hair serum, conditioner, gel, whatever purchased is going to magically turn our natural curly, frizzy hair into that of the “Oh, Great Evil One”…that bitch, Angelina. It never happens, but we continue to purchase our little “bottles of hope” despite our track record. Damn you Angie!!!

Who am I going to share all of my Jerry Lee and Nadine stories and have the other person actually show interest? Most people give me the standard patronizing, “Oh wow, really?” Kind of the same response I give when people tell me stories about their children. Brutal honesty.

And on the topic of children, who else other than me finds it completely reasonable that there be segregation of adults and children for almost every activity (especially Disneyland)? As we have both said, our tubes tie themselves on the first note of a child’s wail. Why pretend? After all, Tanya is my only friend that was selfless enough to not ruin MY social life by having a child. Thank you.

Who else, other than me, wants to kidnap David Duchovny and hold him as our personal sex slave for eternity, or until the novelty wears off…whatever comes first.

Who else, other than me, thinks vodka is a food group? Shut up…yes it is!

Who else other than me thinks the most perfect evening consists of sitting our ass, with our dogs, on the sofa, a TiVo fully loaded with Forensic Files and a cocktail in hand?

Who else other than me can find the humor in almost ever situation and in some situations where perhaps we should not…? Unless the situation is detrimental to us…then, not so funny.

And, there are very few people other than Tanya that can completely relate to my relationship with my dysfunctional parents (especially our contentious relationships with our mothers), always listen, never judge and make me laugh despite the utter seriousness of the situation. She is part of a network of friends that have filled in those family relationship gaps and created a family that is there of choice, not obligation.

So, it is with great sadness that I accept the inevitable…

tourists

This past weekend, my cousin and I got together to goof around and hang out with each other. Her husband, a Boy Scout troop leader was having an 8-hour training meeting at their home, so we needed to find away to occupy ourselves. We decided to head to the town of Folsom and check out their historic district (essentially, the tourist trap). God forbid, we were tourists…But years ago, my cousin and I both worked for my mom when she owned a shop there, so we had some connection to the place.

The main street

After browsing a few shops we made a lunch stop at a Mexican restaurant for fajitas and margaritas.

Hello, lover...

Afterwards, we ended up in the candy shop and spent some time there watching them make fudge and brittle.

And for our patience, we were rewarded with spoonfuls of fudge...

During our wait, we check out the the lovely lady making candy on the other side of the shop. We wondered how much a gig like this paid…how bad can life be surrounded by chocolate?

All and all a fun little outing…as usual with us two!

sadness

Well, I have been home sick the last two days and things were definitely beginning to look up and I was feeling so much better. But then, one of the bird fledglings attempted to fly and collided into one of the satellite cables, falling to the ground. Of course, Jerry Lee seized the opportunity. We got Jerry away in time and Craig, with gloved hands, placed the baby back in the nest. An hour later, on my way out to check on the darling, the dogs busted out from behind me and nearly knocked me over. They had seen the bird once again attempt to fly and fall to the ground. This time, we were unable to save him. He passed away in my hands; I felt so awful...we both did. And it is taking everything in my being to not want to knock Jerry Lee in the head with the heaviest cast iron pan I can get my hands on. While all this was going on, the mother bird was sitting on the telephone pole looking on... I felt like I had let her down and have this incredible sadness in my heart. This is the part that I hate when I become attached to any beings...loss.

bird watching

Jerry Lee recently found that we had a dove family living in our crab apple tree. After many "discussions", Jerry Lee has opted to stay away from our feathered friends. Smart boy. Last night I was finally able to capture a shot of mama and her baby.

carb craving

Monday was my day off and it was devoted to chores and general putzing around. And such inactivity got me craving some carbs... Of course, we still do so with a healthy spin. For pasta we had Eden Foods Kamut Vegetable Spirals. I love these little devils.

Italian Sausage Marinara

6-8 cloves of garlic thinly sliced
1-large sweet yellow onion diced
2-3 tablespoons of olive oil
1-pound of sweet Italian sausage (not in casings)
1-pound of spicy Italian sausage (not in casings)
1-28 ounce can of Muir Glen chunky tomato sauce
1-6 ounce can of Muir Glen tomato paste
Sweet Marsala wine as needed
Sea salt
Fresh chopped Italian basil (as prefered)
Fresh chopped Italian Parsley (as prefered)
Freshly cooked pasta

(For the thinly sliced garlic…I have this convenient little gadget.)

Over low heat in a 4 quart sauce pan sauté garlic and onion in the olive oil until lightly caramelized. Break up sausage and add to garlic and onion. Cook until just browned. Add the tomato sauce and tomato paste. Cook over low heat for an hour. If necessary, add Marsala wine one tablespoon at a time if the sauce is too acidic. Remove from heat and add basil and parsley. Before serving, taste and add salt if necessary.

celebration

We celebrated Craig's birthday on Sunday. We decided to stay home, make a great meal, consume some wine and not worry about the need for a designated driver. The menu was the birthday boy's choice and he requested halibut. However, since Craig is a master with seafood, I asked that he prepare the house seafood specialty. Normally this preparation is done with salmon or scallops.

Off I went on Sunday morning to pick up the halibut and run a few other errands. First stop was the local natural foods co-op. My plan was to stop at the Japanese food market for the halibut, but laziness started to creep in and I almost bought the halibut at the co-op. I decided to stay with my plan. Good think I did! When I got to Oto's, the halibut was $10.00 off a pound...normally in these parts, fresh wild halibut is $24.00 a pound and I got this for $14.00 a pound...awesome! Since I saved so much on the halibut, I decided to pick up some sashimi grade tuna to make an appetizer that would pair perfectly with a glass of bubbly.

Before Craig headed out on his birthday bike ride, he prepared the halibut. The preparation consists of garlic and ginger put through a garlic press, one thinly sliced dried Thai chili, fresh basil, lemon zest, kalbi marinade and a sprinkling of brown sugar. We let that rest on the fish until we were ready to grill.



While he was out, I made the appetizer; Tuna Tartartinis with Avocado.



We placed the halibut on a disposable vented aluminum pan and roasted in our gas BBQ on low heat with the middle burner off. The piece of halibut that we had was approximately one and a half pounds and took about 20 minutes to cook. We served it with brown rice...and of course, more wine. All and all, a great birthday!



Tuna-tinis with Avocado

3 tablespoons of Ponzu (citrus soy sauce)
1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar
1 1/2 teaspoon wasabi paste
3/4 teaspoon dark sesame oil
1 green onion finely chopped
8 ounces of sashimi grade tuna cut into 1/3 inch cubes
1 avocado, halved, pitted and cut into 1/3 inch cubes
black sesame seeds
green onion stalks

Mix the first five ingredients into a bowl to blend. Add tuna and avocado and gently fold into the dressing to completely coat. This can be done 2 hours ahead. Spoon into serving dishes or chilled martini glasses and garnish with sesame seeds and onion stalks.

friday night

I was reading Debby's blog yesterday and she had prepared a yummy looking dinner that included lamb chops finished with gremolata. And after that, I couldn't get it out of my mind. So after work, I headed to the store to pick up some items for the weekend and the gremolata was in the forefront of my mind. The store had some beautiful sirloins and of course, a few great wine deals. For my gremolata I added some basil from our garden along with the garlic, parsley, and lemon zest. I rubbed the gremolata over the steaks with some olive oil, sea salt and ground pepper. The steaks rested at room temperature for an hour before we threw them on the grill. We served the sirloins with grilled corn in the husk and a nice bottle of Cabernet. Craig finished up the meal with his special dessert; the world's best chocolate sorbet finished with honey Greek yogurt, fresh blueberries and toasted coconut. We inhaled it and neglected to take a picture...sorry, next time...I promise. Thanks Debby for our dinner inspiration!

Vent

I am insane. I am insane because the definition of insanity is doing the same action over and over again expecting a different result. Now, here is where I vent. I love Craig. However, he can piss me off like you would not believe. And it is usually the same song and dance over and over again. Case in point, today he emails me at work this simple sentence:

“By the way my car window broke so I need to park in the garage until I get it fixed ok? Love, Craig”

No explanation, no interesting story to preclude the sentence. Now, maybe this type of communication makes sense to men. But to women, not so much.

So, I call him to find out what happened. Was he in an accident? Did a tree fall on the car? Did someone break the window to steal the car or its contents?

He picks up and I say, “Hey Sweetie, so what happened?”

Impatient and grouchy he answers, “I don’t know” (AGAIN, NO INFORMATION)

“Are you okay?”

“No, my window is broken, it’s pushed through” (I swear, I felt like Viet Cong trying to interrogate a POW)

“Glad you’re okay…so what happened; it’s not broken?”

“FUCK, how the hell am I supposed to know?” (Just for the ignorant or the deaf dumb and blind, this is where he blew it…)

“You know what? I called to see if you are okay and what happened and none of that excuses your response. It’s just not acceptable and I won’t allow it. It's fucked up”

“Well dammit, I told you I didn’t know and then you hound me about what happened” (Please dear god, just tell me he took a VERY LARGE handful of Idiot Pills before this call)

“Oh yes now I remember…how silly of me to have forgotten... I had passed my minimum of one question concerning your well-being… You have yourself a great little day and I’ll see you at home. Bye."

So, this isn’t the first time I have had a "conversation" like this, it probably won’t be the last one and I will forge ahead expecting a different outcome on the next one…insane.

patience is not my virtue

Last night I was tinkering in our garden trying to take some pictures around dusk. I was getting completely frustrated… You see, a few months back I borrowed then purchased a used Canon 17-85mm image stabilizing lens off of my friend. If you have never tried image stabilizing lenses…DON'T, unless you plan to purchase one because you will NEVER be the same. I was hooked from the moment I had first borrowed it and when he offered to sell it to me, I thought I would just die.

Well, last week he asked if he could borrow the lens because he was the official photographer for some big poker tournament in Las Vegas hosted by former NBA player Chris Webber. Of course I let him borrow it; after all he had loaned it to me. Well this was supposedly, some celebrity laden event…. A photographer friend we have in common had already seen the shots from the event and said, “There are some great shots of Gladys Knight”.

Wait, I’m sorry…when was the last time that Gladys Knight was relevant? And, no mention of the Pips not even one Pip. And, the BIGGEST travesty...no mention of my lens.

So back to my frustration… I was using the other lenses I had last night and they were just not cutting it. I missed my baby, my lens. There I was in the garden barefoot, my camera loaded on my tripod, wine glass in one hand while muttering to myself about the lameness of the lens and the shitty lighting. At this point, Craig poured more wine into my glass and quietly retreated into the house. Sometimes, he is the smartest human being on the planet…hands down.

After my unfulfilling evening of shooting, I text messaged my friend in the morning inquiring if he had returned…no response. I emailed him (we work at the same place)…no response. I email our photographer friend (he also works at the same place); to which I did get a response that yes, my lens stealing friend was at work, no he had not seen my lens and then off he went talking about those damn Gladys Knight pictures. In the immortal word of Doggybloggy…harmpf!

Okay, at this point I am expecting a ransom note. I checked the official website for the poker tournament…maybe he just got in this morning. Nope…July 25-27. Today is the 29th. WHERE IS MY LENS?????!!!!

Look, just return the lens and no one gets hurt. Oh yeah, and you might want to bring a bottle of wine to show your immense gratitude. Just call Craig, he'll help you out.

So...

I recently read an article on CNN that states a study has found that women on antidepressants may receive a benefit from the self use of Viagra. But before I could reach for the phone and give my doctor a call…I read further. The article states, since antidepressants slow down sex drive, the addition of Viagra would not change that. However, if you somehow found yourself “in the mood”, the benefit comes to you (pun intended) via your orgasm.

So, let me get this straight…you poor little depressed girl, you may not want to have sex and that little pill that is helping your sunny disposition will further send your sex drive in the toilet. But, on the off chance you find yourself in the “undercover hustle”, you may just have a happy ending and not find yourself crying in a fetal position in the corner. Aren’t emotionally challenging women fun??

Of course, our friends at the FDA aren’t planning on approving the use of Viagra for female sexual dysfunction. Hey fellas, you might want to think that over. We now have many 80 year old men (Hugh Hefner…ewh) with the sustainable woody of a 20 year old male and much of the female population on antidepressants with no product in sight to increase their libidos… So technology and advancement hasn’t gotten us that far. I go back to the basics…This girl sticks with “Old Reliable”…vodka.

for the love of a dog

As I had stated in a previous post, I will always try to pick up a stray dog if I spot one. I keep myself armed with an extra leash and treats if the opportunity presents itself. Well, this week it did. After much discussion and whining, I agreed to go to the store to pick up some wine and an avacado. On my way there, a little dog ran out into the street twice and narrowly missed becoming road kill. In front of two police cruisers, I pulled an illegal u-turn and followed the dog down a street. She was scared and a little manic, but after many treats I was able to coax her into my car. Unfortunately, she did not have a collar...So, I dropped her off at home with Craig and went back to get the wine. I do have my priorities...

When I got back home, I immediately placed an ad on Craigslist, one in the local paper and provided her information to a local pet finder service. Sadly, there was NO ONE looking for her. Since the housing market took a dump, people have taken to abandoning their pets or surrending them to a local shelter. I took one of Nadine's old collars and a name tag and put them on "Dog" just in case she got loose again. Nadine and Jerry showed her the ropes and played with her in the backyard.

The next morning, I took a few pictures of her and sent out an email to all my "dog lover" friends and asscoiates. By the end of the day, I had 4 people that wanted her. I was thrilled. My friend Donna was first to respond and desperately wanted to meet her. Last night, I took little "Dog" to meet with Donna, her two young sons, her husband and the other two family dogs. "Dog" fit in perfectly and Donna and Hal decided to keep her. Of course they know that if "Dog's" owners contact me, they may have to return her. As of today, there has been no response to any of my ads and I have not seen an ad placed looking for her. And that is a good thing because Donna emailed me today and told me her family has fallen in love with her and named her Abby Grace.

My attempt to make the world a better place, one dog at a time...

Introducing, Ms Abby Grace

cheap thrills

So, there is this Reno trip that many people I work with sign up for every July. For $35.00 per person you get a stay for two nights, all the alcohol you can drink and a sit down banquet dinner. There are a few catches; you have to gamble in their casino at least 4 hours each of the two days and the casino isn’t the hippest swankiest place. What a deal!!!

So, my cousin and I headed up there after work on Friday. Once we arrived, I picked up my envelope of debauchery and quickly found our hotel room. It was past 8:00 pm by the time we arrived so we decided to hit the buffet which was serving all you can eat New York Strip cooked to order. On our way to the buffet we stopped by the nearest bar and picked up our first of many complimentary drinks of the weekend. (in order to make life easy, you are provided with a name tag to wear the entire weekend to identify yourself as a VIP and be handed free drinks) Dinner was a little tacky but delicious none the less. We got in about 3 hours of our required 4 hours of gambling and many complimentary drinks. I think I fell in love…all the Kettel One I can drink? Are you kidding? I now pronounce you Vodka and Wife.

My "passport to drunkeness"

The next morning we took a short walk across the street and drank a leisurely cup of coffee at Starbucks before we went to breakfast. We were starving. They had a Mel’s Diner in the casino and it seemed like a safe bet (non pun intended). When our breakfast arrived, it was cold, stone cold. And, I had ordered a biscuit without the gelatinous gravy, but there my biscuit sat drowning under the weight of the gravy mass. So, I asked for another biscuit. And she NEVER came back until the very end and was surprised that I no longer wanted my biscuit. I had some ideas on what she could do with it, but I refrained. So, we went up to pay the bill and when the manager asked how everything was. I was honest; “our meal tasted great, but it was stone cold”. He stated that he would take care of our entire bill and hoped that we would return. ANOTHER FREE THING ON MY CHEAP WEEKEND!!!! Yeah!

Anyway, more gambling, more drinking, more eating and a trip to the local Costco was on the agenda for the afternoon. We decided to soak before getting ready for our banquet dinner and this required another trip to the bar…lemon drops and bottled water. So, in the hot tub we soaked the toxins out of our systems and I sweated away my Kettel One. After we got ready, we went early to the banquet to buy our raffle tickets, pick our table and of course, take advantage of the hosted cocktail hour, hour and half, two hours. Who’s counting, really?

We ended up sitting with the sweetest Japanese family at dinner and had a great time. For dinner cocktails we had margaritas on the rocks with Patron floaters… Dinner was delicious but we didn’t win any of the gift and cash raffle items during dinner.

After dinner, we headed down to gamble and wait for the 3 additional raffle drawings. On the second drawing, my cousin won $50.00 in chips. YEAH! More cocktails, a trip to the cashiers and up to our room to crash for the evening.

We decided to head to Mel’s again for our breakfast and things were infinitely better… After breakfast we packed it up and headed home.

Reno is hardly a place I would frequent on a normal basis, but for $35.00, free drinks, a free dinner and raffle prizes, I can make an exception.

Adios Reno, until next year.

the holy land...with coffee

As a self proclaimed foodie shopaholic, nothing makes me happier than a store, better yet, a mall that satisfy both of these identities... Sur La Table opened this week in Roseville, a mere 20 miles away. To say I am estatic, is an understatement. I have been a huge fan of this store since I visited the original location at Pike's Market in Seattle 10 years ago.

And the good news keeps coming... A Whole Foods Market is near completion just steps away from Sur La Table. I know, my head is spinning from just the thought. Knowing their core audience, they kindly placed a Peet's Coffee in between. I nearly pee'd myself.

Now, I think I need a second job to support my addictions... Maybe I should apply at Sur La Table...

growing up and hitting bottom

Sometimes, I feel like an island. And the older I get, the truer that statement becomes. Very few people are close to me and it breaks my heart, but that is how it is. When I am hurt by others I take it in and then go…quiet. One of my friends said, “When Michelle is unhappy with you, she will retreat and then go silent”. This is so utterly true, that until she said it, I had no idea. I still put myself out there and take the risk, but as I get older, my willingness to do so has greatly diminished.

Yesterday was a really really hard day for me and it was one of those island days. I haven’t spoken to my father since his last incident and yesterday found me at the precipice of should or shouldn’t I. Ultimately, I didn’t call him. It was the first time in my whole life that I failed to recognize my father on this day. And I cried (huge hyperventilating sobs). My face stung from all my tears…I missed my mom and I missed my dad and I was just enormously sad. But, I just felt that if I had reached out, he would continue to hurt me and I know that I can’t deal with that anymore…In reality, I had no choice; it was him or me.

My family didn’t call…I didn’t expect them to, hell, maybe I did. No one called. The day was silent. Craig was at a loss on what to do for me; my family issues are way beyond what he has ever seen or experienced. I felt very alone. And even if my cousin weren’t on vacation, she may have given me some tough love which is understandable but was the last thing that I needed. So, I did my laundry for work, made sure my things were gathered for the next day, set my alarm and it was business as usual…quiet. So, this little island was battered and sad, but strong. I did not buckle, I did not do what was expected, I did not like it, but even if my dad has not hit rock bottom, I have.

things I know…

I will never be “put together”… I will always have at least one thing (many things) in need of attention; a dirty car, a cluttered email inbox, chipped glasses and cracked plates, silverware that has been to the bad side of the garbage disposal, a garden in desperate need of weeding, an "at capacity" garage where I put everything to give the illusion that I am “put together”. On the other hand, I ALWAYS have a laundry list of chores and goals.

I will never complete reading a book in a timely fashion. At minimum, I have 3 or more books in various states of completion and several that I have purchased over the years that I have yet to read. On the other hand, if I were bedridden, I would definitely have a way to pass the time.

I will never finish writing my book…or any of the other half started novels currently housed on my computer. And when I read them again, I can never recall the story arc that I was going for. On the other hand, I can surprise myself with some witty thing that I had written when I was on a roll and buzzed on cocktails.

I will never have clean closets. To be honest, I am a bit of a Tasmanian Devil when it comes to looking for something and everything left in the wake is tossed about and finds a new place in the closet. On the other hand, the closet is like an undiscovered country full of treasures that I had forgotten that I had purchased.

I will always give a new CD a chance. Even if I purchase a CD for one song, it will go on a steady rotation on my Ipod so I may discover other songs to love. On the other hand, I would love to have some of the time and money back that I have wasted giving some CD the opportunity to amaze me with its genius.

I will always come to the rescue or provide assistance to my friends regardless of the time of day. My friends are my family and they are important. On the other hand, this has come to burn me in the past and brought me to great tears. When it has been truly recognized and appreciated it has also brought me to great tears.

I will always stop for a stray dog. Regardless of the surroundings, where I am going or what I may be doing, this is just something I live by. You will always find an extra dog leash and treats in my car, just in case. On the other hand, it has forced me to sprint back to my car for fear of having my head gnarled open by an ill tempered pooch. And everyone knows that I DO NOT run.

I will always cook too much food and serve dessert when you are invited to my home for dinner. In the immortal words of Frank Constanza from Seinfeld, "And who doesn't serve cake after a meal? What kind of people? Would it kill them to put out a pound cake? Something!" Amen Frank! On the other hand, since I cook too much food, I also make too much dessert and will inevitably, eat it by myself, late at night, perhaps in one sitting.

I will always have a greeting card for every occasion, well almost. Over the years, I have gone on greeting card splurges and will pick them up for no reason at all. On the other hand, in my collected stash, some have lost their humor, edge and/or sentiment as time goes by and they quickly go back to the bottom of the pile.

So, these are some of the things I absolutely know about myself… Tell me some of yours!

everything old is new again...?

I am 9 months away from my 40th birthday. And as of today, this little fact does not bring me to my knees. However, my body insists on returning to adolescence… Recently, I have been getting acne…not exactly what we called “pizza face” in the day, but disturbing none the less. Lucky me, I will get the zit that comes from all the other zits gathering together to form one HUGE zit. I swear they have roots and a pulse. There isn’t enough make up in the world that will cover one of these babies. Although I am seriously considering one of those scarves…so the only thing visible would be my eyes.

That's me, crying in the middle

In addition to the acne, I was recently informed that I had 2 cavities… Yes, two cavities. How the hell? So, yesterday as I sat in the dental chair with the sound of the drill to my teeth and bits flying in the air, I felt shameful and scared. I tried to close my eyes so I wouldn’t see the doctor coming toward me with any sharp instruments… But occasionally, I would see this….

Now, it’s not fair to have acne, cavities and hot flashes all at the same time. I’ll take two, but not three. If I am going in reverse and forward at the same time, by my calculations, I shouldn’t be aging any further. Yeah!

God, I hope I don’t have to lose my virginity all over again... However, I could certainly improve on that experience...

Progress?

I for one love progress. Its great to see progressive thought regarding sex, politics, religion...the list goes on. But progress has it downside. Case in point; I was watching the Style Network last night and this commercial came on.



Now given my more liberal views, I was kind of surprised that this commercial disturbed me. Apparently, masturbation is no longer a taboo subject AND apparently, women your mother’s age are getting busy AND TALKING ABOUT IT WITH PERFECT STRANGERS. Ewh.

I think I actually miss the days of I Love Lucy and those puritanical twin beds.

home alone

So, Craig had to take off and tend to his family. He left last night and although I have complained since he was laid off that I am seeing WAY too much of him, as the door shut behind him I felt sad…for a second. Then it occurred to me, OH MY GOD…I HAVE THE HOUSE ALL TO MYSELF!!!!!

My head started to spin trying to think of all the things that I could do… You would think that I was 15 years old and my parents just announced that they are leaving me alone for the weekend. As much as I love Craig, the man never rests. He hits the ground running each and every day. And for some reason….all his activities are VERY noisy. He grinds his coffee each morning…a fine grind that requires him to press that goddamn button for an ETERNITY. Since our house has mostly wood floors, tiptoeing around for the consideration of others (uhm) is impossible. After his first cup of coffee, he is out the door with the dogs in tow to tend to the vegetable garden. This is followed by stretching, leashing the dogs up and out for the morning run. Back at home, more stretching, crunches and weights. Breakfast usually involves two bowls of cereal (and two visits to the kitchen) which he eats in the bedroom while watching ESPN. While all this is going on, the dogs stay right on his heels so the three of them end up sounding like Santa and his ever energetic reindeer with each “ching-ching” of their collars. At this point, the morning quiets down to a low roar and he practices guitar for a few hours before he gears up for a 40-mile bike ride. And you might ask what I am doing during this flurry of activity…. I am quietly sitting on the couch with my coffee watching the Food Network and incessantly praying that he will be struck by acute narcolepsy and drop down for a 5 hour nap. Peace and quiet is not part of our mornings in the house. Not only is the activity disruptive, the whole thing makes me feel as if I am playing hooky even though it’s my day off; like somehow I should have raised a barn in the hour and half since I have been awake. Doesn’t everybody?

So, two full free days stretch before me and the peace in the house is like fresh air. Although, Jerry and Nadine look as though they may NEVER recover from the absence of Craig. I swear if they could talk they would have asked him last night, “You’re leaving us with her? Who’s going to take us on our two 5-mile runs? She runs like a…GIRL and she makes us watch Forensic Files.”

Yes, my dears I will make you watch Forensic Files but I will also be ordering pizza and getting Chinese take-out. Who’s your daddy now?

mad style

Nadine goes Big Pimpin'

obsessions

I have a couple of new obsessions. The first is a series on the Sundance Channel called Live From Abbey Road. It's an awesome show with live recording sessions at the infamous studio. Last night they had Jamiroquai, Damien Rice and the Goo Goo Dolls. I had a very vague idea who Damien Rice was... However, after hearing this song...he is my new obsession.



Last week they had Dr. John, LeAnn Rimes and Massive Attack. And now I am (also) obsessed with this song.

The other obsession is Agave Nectar. I started using it as a substitute for sugar and now I find myself looking for excuses to use it in everything. Agave Martini, Agave Sorbet, Agave Yogurt ??? I think I seriously need help....