Yes, I am still alive...just putting in extra hours at the wine bar. For this week, I am off the schedule...yeah!
So, today is Monday and the first day of my Basic Sales and Use Tax Auditing course. (I sense I have already lost some of you with this information) A 15-day, 120-hour course designed to teach me everything I ever wanted to know about auditing, but knew better than to ask. What was I thinking???? The second chapter of the Audit Manual is 86 pages devoted to the intimate knowledge of one form. Yes, that's right...86 pages, one form. Last week, I actually found myself nodding off in my cubicle as I tried in vain to finishing reading the chapter and to date, I have yet to complete it. You would think that by now, some clever State employee would have created "Cliff Notes" to aid in the prevention of self induced comas. But alas, no relief in sight.
Let it be known, I am a visual learner. So, 86 pages of instruction on how to complete a form is about as useful to me as carrying water in a strainer... I have retained nothing. However, in utilizing all my study techniques from college, I have carefully highlighted all the bullshit that appears to be vital in the hopes that the information will magically be planted in my head. And, as I look at the neon yellow lines of highlighted text on the page, it is apparent that my technique did not work; the osmosis has failed. On to Plan B...the appearance of knowledge. I'll just look like I retained the information., competent and confident... I just hope that I am not asked any questions or I may end up looking like this...
Wish me luck...I am going to need it!